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Senior Times - January 2025 Page 19CITY LOCATION FACILITATOR PHONE DAYS TIME BARRY COUNTYDelton Faith United Methodist Teri Shelton (269) 948-4856 M,W,Th 12pmHastings COA Building Theresa Lancaster (269) 948-4856 M-F 10am-2pm Lunch served at 12pmBRANCH COUNTYColdwater H&C Burnside Senior Center Amy Duff (517) 279-6565 M,T,Th 11:30amUnion City Union City Senior Center Amy Duff (517) 279-6565 M,T, Th 11:30amCALHOUN COUNTYAlbion Forks Senior Center Milestone Sen. Services (269) 382-0515 x350 M,T,W 10am-1pm Lunch served at 11:45amBattle Creek Bedford Manor Dining Center Milestone Sen. Services (269) 382-0515 x350 M-F 10am-1pm Lunch served at 11:30amBattle Creek Cherryhill Manor Senior Center Milestone Sen. Services (269) 382-0515 x350 M-F 9:45am-11:45am Lunch served at 11:30amBattle Creek Springview Towers Dining Center Milestone Sen. Services (269) 382-0515 x350 M-F 9:30am-11:30am Lunch served at 11amBattle Creek Westbrook Place Dining Center Milestone Sen. Services (269) 382-0515 x350 M-F 10am-1pmMarshall Heritage Commons Senior Center Milestone Sen. Services (269) 382-0515 x350 M,T, Th 12-1:30pm Lunch served at 11amJACKSON COUNTYGrass Lake Grass Lake Food With Friends Annie Lavergne (517) 522-8466 T, Th 10am-3:30pm Lunch served at 12pmJackson Crouch Senior Center Laurie Mead (517) 788-4364 M-F 9am-4pm Lunch served at 12pmJackson Park Forest Laurie Mead (517) 788-4364 M-F 10:30am-1:30pm Lunch served at 12pmJackson King Rec Center, Food with Friends Laurie Mead (517) 788-4364 M-F 10:30am-1:30pm Lunch served at 12pmMichigan Center St. Aidan%u2019s Episcopal Church Laurie Mead (517) 788-4364 M,W,F 10:30am-2:30pm Lunch served at 12pmNapoleon Napoleon Township Hall Laurie Mead (517) 788-4364 T, Th 10:30am-1:30pm Lunch served at 12pmNorvell 300 Mill Street Laurie Mead (517) 788-4364 M,W,F 10:30am-1:30pm Lunch served at 12pmSpring Arbor Spring Arbor Senior Center Laurie Mead (517) 788-4364 M-F 10:30am-1:30pm Lunch served at 12pmDetails subject to change. To have your senior transportation or senior dining center added or changes to your listing, Call Pat at (269) 979-1479 ext. 1 or Email: patfosdick@scenepub.com.SENIOR DINING CENTERSthe rules, and we do not have the right to punish each other. Unfinished business from childhood can last a lifetime if we let it. So let it go and start behaving like an adult; make amends. How do we start these difficult conversations; to resolve sibling rivalry and stop the bickering? Be the adult, be the lead, and get it going. Maybe you need to start small or maybe you are the one that needs to brought into the conversation but I urge you to not be afraid of it but to embrace it and gain the peace of mind of knowing that you have done what you need to do to help your family with a transition toward forgiveness. Sadly, if sibling rivalry is not addressed, it can be the thing that causes the care for or the loss of a parent to be far more difficult. Is it hopeless? I think not. We all know, and yet dread, that our parents will someday will need our care or move on. While it%u2019s never pleasant to think about, it is still a reality. I have watched time and time again as the transition can cause or enhance sibling fighting and frustrations. Whether it%u2019s the lamp that everyone wants or the hurt feelings because they weren%u2019t the one chosen to close out the estate. You may be surpised to read that you, the adult parent, have a lot of control over how things play out after you%u2019re gone. Using your power beforehand can eliminate a lot of resentment later. What do I mean you may wonder? Deep down you probably truly know what things are going to cause a problem so why not address those while everyone, yes everyone, is in the room. Put these details in writing so that no one is confused about what was said that day, or over the years. To my surprise, a valued Christmas tradition that my parents began years ago was giving us a treasured possession each year while they were able to enjoy seeing our faces as we received those gifts. It eliminated any confusion about who they wanted to give that prized gift to and it also allowed each of us to be very clear about what would be most cherished by each of us, for whatever reason. Beyond this wonderful tradition is the fact that much more should really be put in writing. If you want specific items to go to someone you should be sure that they want to receive it. Maybe, just maybe, they know that it might have greater value to another sibling. The more specific you are the fewer the questions. Parents should also be certain that when assigning an end-of-life role to someone that they are willing and able to take on that challenge. Your elder law attorney can help you sort through what docuements will be best to have completed. New to this equation is the fact that we are amazingly living longer; many in a very healthy way. A person living to 100 or older might really have different wishes for an estate than someone half that age. They might be looking at college for grand children or even great grand children, rather than the needs of their immediate children. Here%u2019s the good news%u2026 Just because you set up a will, trust, or other documents 20 years ago does not mean that you can%u2019t change it either. Situations change and these documents should indeed be revisted from time to time. If you change resposibilities for someone be sure that they know so it is not a surprise during a time of need. For those of you that fear that putting your thoughts on paper signifies your impending fate, my mother went through the same thing. And while she was not comfortable putting all these details in writing she was quick to be sure that every child, and my dad, knew what she wanted. Having said that, when loss actually occurs, no matter how prepared we are, it is still painful. Sometimes old feelings resurface and potentially cause challenges. We must guard against faultfinding, anger, and distrespect for one another, especially at a time such as this. This is especially important as we may need to make decisions about the aging parent that is still living. Focusing on the needs of the parent will help to get through the process but may not be enough if there are still feelings of resentment.What makes this easier for the adult siblings? Showing love and support are two of the most powerful ways we can build strong relationships with our adult siblings. Being generous with our time and resources can also help us in our sibling relationships. If we let it, generosity can replace animosity.